Anyone else get caught up in helping everyone else first before ourselves sometimes?

The other day I was sitting on a zoom call with a group of women entrepreneurs connecting and discussing business challenges and it was a great event.

On the call was a beautiful woman, let’s call her Sarah, who was in the health and wellness industry, talking about how she felt stuck and had a block on why she couldn’t choose a specific niche for her business.

Her frustration could be felt by all. Rather than talk through her ‘block’, Sarah spent a lot of time offering advice, expert tips and generally helping everyone else there.

As I sat looking at the computer screen and looking at her physically showing signs of pain and discomfort because she couldn’t work it out, plus the frustration attached to not being able to work it out, I really felt for her.

And if I could, I would have reached through the computer and had a good conversation with her, let her know it was ok, that we had all felt like that, and there are things she can do to get around these feelings, starting with stop helping everyone.

This is not an uncommon problem, I have had numerous phone calls with women in business over the years, and there are many people in business who struggle to narrow down their niche, thinking that they may miss out on other aspects of the market, in a nutshell, they want to help everyone.


Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy. – Dale Carnegie

Stop Helping Everyone And Start Helping Someone

In marketing and indeed online, when you try to market to everyone, your message is watered down, it wrecks all the hard work in your marketing.

Imagine this. You have a beautiful pink dress for sale, it’s absolutely stunning, you loved wearing it, how it made you feel, but you’re doing the Marie Kondo thing…how good is that series on Netflix, and it’s got to go.

You take it to the local market, you think it looks fantastic on the hanger. The dress is designed for and looks the best on someone in their 20s or 30s, and the rest of the clothes in your stand are for older women.

There are lots of women coming into the stall, they head straight to the other clothes, it’s as if they don’t see the pink dress at all.  Frustration is starting to build, you could really do with the money but why is no one looking?

This is a basic #101 marketing situation going on right there in the market stall.


Stop Helping Everyone In Your Marketing

It’s impossible to market to someone who is younger compared to someone who’s in their 50s because they have a different mindset, different values…they’re at different stages in life. The women coming into the stall were older and interested in the clothes for their age group…which is why they didn’t ‘see’ the pink dress because they literally didn’t.

This is the problem being experienced by Sarah on the zoom call. During the call, Sarah kept giving advice to everyone else about marketing, social media, YouTube…Sarah certainly knew her stuff and was a great help to everyone else on the call.

The thing is it was costing her, her own business…one answer…stop heling everyone else first.

What I noticed and what stood out for me was that Sarah was extremely helpful and wanted to provide value and to help everyone around her, but she wasn’t giving herself the same respect or helping her own business grow…AT ALL!

The block, I believe is simply a limiting belief or a thought that you’ve told yourself, and something you want to be true, so that making a decision does not have to happen. The thing is, when you don’t make a decision for yourself, you are, in fact making a decision…and not the one which may turn out to be the right one.

Perhaps it’s because Sarah was not sure what her strengths are, or what she was passionate about, perhaps the ‘block’ is simply fear masquerading as indecision of making the wrong choice. Perhaps the challenge is not that she had a block, but in fact had not learnt yet, how to make a decision based on what her strengths were, what she is passionate about. Simply not knowing…


Pick A Place To Start…And Start!

Take a look at your talents. Well, what are they? Most people know what they are good at but many may not know what are their natural strengths. Let me explain.

According to Tom Rath, a talent is a natural way of feeling, thinking and behaving, what we do naturally from a very young age, hard-wired in.  When you multiply talent with the investment of practising, building your knowledge base, developing skills…the equation: Talents x Investment = Strength…the place all humans strive for…the ability to consistently provide near-perfect performance.

What often makes us unique is hiding in plain sight — and that can be a tremendous source of power if only we could see it, understand it and apply it productively. In the online business space, there is a lot of