‘You don’t know what it is like until you’ve experienced it’… is so true when it comes to being a mother, a partner and running a successful business.
Every kid’s age has its dark zone…having had five babies, who range in age from 7 to 18.
Every. Single. Day.
Take this morning, we had a school uniform mishap…said school shirt still in the washing machine…with 10 minutes before the bus came. Oops. Organising lunches, reminding kids about homework, readers, library books, sport…blah, blah, blah… and this is before 8 am.
A slightly different picture to someone who doesn’t have to concern themselves with anyone else. Who can get up…have that HOT cup of coffee before heading off to work.
The point here is not comparing one situation to an another…the point here is about YOU and YOUR situation, so that you get the results you want.
When you make the decision to go out on your own, when you have come up with a unique and valuable idea of ‘that thing’, that business idea where you get to call the shots, grow your business, make money AND be the mother and partner you want to be….WELL DONE YOU!
It wasn’t until I hit the big 4…0 where I took the courage to really commit to doing something for me.
Looking back, I was completely naïve when it came to business, I thought Nurse Power (my first business) would build itself and I would have clients miraculously falling from the sky.
All I had to do was create a program, blog, make a video or two and everyone would line up to buy it.
I didn’t know what I didn’t know…and still, don’t at times 🙂
Being a newbie back in the day to the business space, I attended networking events, as that is what I was told to do. Now wasn’t that fun, standing in a group of glamorous women, dressed beautifully, heels on, immaculate hair…and then there was me.
I felt like a fraud, a fish out of the water, having that mindset of thinking that I didn’t know enough, or have enough runs on the board because I was new to business…feeling inadequate, and you guessed it, not connecting to the people in the room.
Coming from the nursing profession, having had five babies, the last one being under one at the time, I felt underdressed, under-heeled, under-successful and not welcome.
I realise now that is was my problem, and not theirs.
Fast forward 7 years and things are a little different.
As a mother, I put the pressure on me to ‘fit in’ and do what everyone else was doing.
The thing is, I didn’t know, I didn’t know.
I followed other women in business, mentors, self-help books, all of which I perceived to show me the ‘right’ way to grow my business.
There are ways to take short cuts, such as having a business mentor, something I personally have invested in since the beginning, and am eternally grateful for all the things I have learnt and implemented.
HOW TO FIND YOUR WAY
It starts with YOU…who you are and who it is you want to work with.
It starts with being honest, and I mean truly honest.
Back then, I would fake it, have the perfect mask on, and the person I was hurting the most was me.
As Lady Gaga aptly sings…’You Were Born This Way’.
A tune I played when I ran the half marathon in New York in 2013.
You don’t need the immaculate hairdo, you don’t need the perfect makeup, the clothes, the heels.
You need the ‘real deal’…you.
What you look like and what you wear can be whatever you want.
Hair, makeup, heels, bling…whatever makes your heart sing.
It’s not hiding behind the excuses like…”I am too busy because I need to be there when the kids get home” or “I have to clean the house” or whatever mother earth thing you can come up with.
I had four jobs…yes four jobs when I started Nurse Power, it was the only way I could make money as the business had no clients, no list, no website…nothing I could monetise.
Not one of my prouder moments, as it was far from fun, however, I did what needed to be done, to get the business rolling and generating money…the very reason I wanted to be an entrepreneur in the first place.
Picture a Friday afternoon, fetal position, lying on the lounge crying, while Ollie was in the playpen happily rolling around, the older boys…aged 4 – 11 hanging around, watching me with a strange look in their eyes.
Short term, ugly tears and pain…however, saying good-bye to one job at a time felt amazing, and something I know I will NEVER have to do again.
What needs to happen, is for YOU to have your definition of success clear and right out in front.
YOUR DEFINITION OF SUCCESS
Success will mean something different for every single person. And being successful or wealthy or rich doesn’t always necessarily equate to having a stack of cash in the bank.
If you check out Dr Google, I was given about 242 million results to choose from for the definition of success.
What I want you to do is to take a second to work out what your definition of success is.
What does it mean to you, and how will you feel when you are successful? You already are successful…I’m talking about the bigger picture here.
How do you want to FEEL?
The feelings will provide you with the foundation to describe and build your definition of success…it will take but a few moments.
Once you have that nailed, it is time to look at your criteria for success, having the steps or the criteria which mean you keep that dream alive, it keeps you consistently working towards that success.
Without the criteria, if you just had this big bubble of “This is what it means”, but you have no way of being able to check in with how you’re progressing, it won’t make an impact on you and it won’t feel real.
Plus, if you make it 85% of the distance in the time you want, you run the risk of that perceived ‘I failed’ inner thought…which when you think about it, is complete rubbish.
Because I want to make sure that when things are challenging, and when the frustration is at its peak, that you will be able to continue with what I call the consistent minimum.
Where you’re working steadily towards where you want to go, despite all the distractions, challenges, health issues and more which come your way.
By starting with the way YOU want to feel, by working out you don’t have to fit in or be like everyone else…you are on the way to smashing out the results you want in your business and life.
Because building a business does take time. No doubt some of you have been in it for a long time, and you know what I mean when I say that.
It won’t happen overnight, there is no magical silver bullet, and adding to it the pressure of trying to fit in and be like everyone else.
It takes work, it takes determination, it takes stamina to keep doing what you’re doing, even when you have no clue of what’s going on or what’s going to happen next.
I now know I don’t need to look immaculate, I don’t need heels (although I do love them, they don’t love me) and those feelings of being a fraud and not fitting in are all but gone.
And if the truth is known…who wants to “fit in” really anyway?!
If you’re looking for some help in this space, click on the link for my ‘Stand Out’ Guide, and get started on getting the ‘real you’ out there.